WE KUM

Across the Atlantikum
Frum the Anglium
Frum the Kaledonium
And the Hibernium
Kum we to getsum

Pushum back wayback
Getum on the run
Blastum to kingdum kum
Dont spare a one ovum
Nits make lice lice make nits

Bringum frum Kongodrum
Loadum and bringum
Throwum over the side
Putum on notice
They ourn by the grace of God

Greifen wir Lebensraum
(We stood beside our cotton bales)
To da halls of Montezumium
Gold in dat dar alluvium
So on to the Pacifikum

Where we rested threescore and ten sum

In kum
rubber bananas chromium
Yiddishe from the Baltikum
Popeworshippers Bolsheviks alldatskum
Two-leggd flotsum and jetsum no end ovum

Out go
Food flicks and Fords
AEF GI Joe JFK and Coolio
Dollars lots of dollars
Will make it all right

Now Islum
Kum to kill us alluvus
Wont leave us alone
Wont be happy til they get it
So heres the vade mekum

Takeumout alluvum
Mit uranium und plutonium
Sturmum und drangum
Buryum deep and then
Fuggedaboutum

--June 2005

WE DON'T NEED NO STINKING DRAFT

We don’t need no stinking draft

We need East Coast shorties
who be draining down forties
and smashing them on the curb
who live to disturb
the peace yall

We need Cali sisters
tight enough to carry heavy ordnance
for their pimps for they won’t
take three strikes
all for love

We need white trash cookers
Dodge City wing-walkers going up and out
in household chemical fireballs
orphaning their attack dogs
their recipes gone forever

We need Fresno cholos
not Lands End Anglos who never stuck anybody
or stood vigil with a pipe and a bag of weed
over a dead soldier named Jésus
til sunup over the Circle K

We need tested mules
no Muffies need apply no followers of fashion
load bearers like in that movie the Passion
of the Christ to make this Crusade
the last one

We’ve got work to do
seduction instruction destruction
excavation adjudication interrogation
it’s going to be hot buggy and dangerous
best not fuck it up with any more Yalies

--May 2004